Secret Place of Thunder

I hid in that secret place of thunder today. Dealing with swine flu while trying to battle an invasion of ants in my kitchen this week. This after having helped my daughter's family move. I had a bout of insomnia and was pretty well depleted when my cold turned into what must be swine flu. The column I wrote about swine flu was rejected by my editors for fear of offending pork producers, so in the middle of the haze of illness, dizziness, chills, I was trying to pound out an alternative column. Then, my son got sick. Not my robust son, but my thin-as-a-pencil-barely-consuming-enough-calories-to-stay-alive-as-it-is son. When I was at the lowest of the low, fearing for my son's life, calling in sick to work, wondering if I would ever breathe normally again, I receive a phone call. A call from a friend. Not a Facebook friend who knew I was sick and down, but a friend whose spiritual life I have seen blossom in the last few years, in desert places. At the end of our conversation, she asked if I'd like to pray. It was like water in the desert, with a little rolling thunder and promise of more water. Only God speaking to an attuned ear could have reached me in the hopelessness of that moment. But when He did, my soul healed, even though my body is still sick. More thunder!

Rejoicing even in times of scarcity

Oh No! Snow!

Snow is not supposed to come this early. Leaves should fall before snow does. It's weird seeing layers of mostly green leaves on the ground, sprinkled with white. The leaves hardly had a chance to age and turn.

Yet, Proverbs takes the view that snow at time of harvest is refreshing. As the cold of snow in the time of harvest, so is a faithful messenger to them that send him: for he refresheth the soul of his masters. Prov. 25:13

I look out the window and try to be refreshed. Laurie has no problem with this. She was wishing for snow a month before it got here, right after school started. I kept telling her no. No! You don’t wish for early snow.

So when I watched her walk home from school today, I could see her head perk up as the snow began to fall. Instead of dragging her backpack, she was suddenly alert and eager. SNOW! That magical, mystical substance that drops from heaven.

As an adult, I resist early snow. I have not yet harvested my apples. My lawn was in bad need of mowing even before the tree dumped all its leaves at once this morning. And that was before this layer of snow on top. The snow only makes me think of what I have to do. It burdens me.

When we forget “all His benefits” it’s just like that. We get burdened with all we have to do. We look at the law and feel depressed. Instead we should be looking at “the perfect law of liberty” and be refreshed.

All His benefits! They are myriad! They come at us fifty at a time: big, gorgeous, sparkling, no two alike -- and we swipe them away, grumbling and complaining about the hassle of it all.

Time to look up in wonder and be refreshed!

Prayer: an animation from Laurie, 9

Laurie's animation

Broken glass

Finally, after years of enduring the cracks in a shattered storm window, we bought a replacement. I watched as my husband tried carefully to slide the pane first one way, then another into the frame of the window. I could see how it almost fit, but no matter how he approached the job, the window simply would not go into the frame.
He removed the outer screen, he tried first from the side then from the top. He tried pressing, pulling and angling, but nothing worked.
It seemed to me that all it needed was a swift jab on the left hand side to nudge the metal pane holder past the aluminum frame. Once past this small obstacle, the glass would slide right into place. He must just be doing something wrong.
When he had exhausted all attempts, it was my turn.
"I will show him," I thought, "just how deft I am at gliding this pane past the lip of the frame and right into place."

I thought with satisfaction of his admiring gaze after I had competently done what he could not. The wonderwife, coming to the rescue.
I carefully looked over the situation. But only when I actually tried placing the pane could I see the problem. The glass was simply not going to fit.
Finally I had the pane within a millimeter of going into the frame of the window. Just a little brute force, I thought. Not too much, just enough.
"The glass is bending, watch out," warned my husband, but it was too late. One quick jab and CRACK! the new, thirty dollar pane was just as cracked as the one it had replaced.
What had just a little pride done?
Arrrgh!
I had not shown my husband how it's done. I had not triumphed with superior handyman skills. I had not demonstrated masterful handling of a sticky situation. I had not made him stare with awe at my ease of execution.
No.
A little pride. What can it hurt?
Well, ask Eve.
I've always thought that what MIGHT have motivated Eve into taking the fruit in the garden was the desire to show Adam something new. Before that moment, Adam had the advantage. He had named everything. He was first on the scene. He was Mr. Know-it-all, showing her everything he already knew about. Eve didn't know anything Adam hadn't already known about. She couldn't show him anything. She could only be shown stuff.
Finally, here was Eve's chance to experience something first, and more importantly, to show it to Adam.
Just a little pride, and it took down the whole world.
Pride goeth before a CRACK!
That's why I have to be on guard in my prayer life, so that I'm constantly seeking humility. And why I pray for my church that we won't start putting faith in numbers or programs or image. It's so easy to fall into pride as an individual or as an institution, and even a little can shatter a clear, holy panorama.

Seeking a Country

In the middle of Hebrews 11 (the faith chapter), after many examples of faithful believers from Genesis, and before all the sawn-in-two, slain-with-the-sword, wandering-in-sheepskins bit, there is a little statement about the early examples of believers with faith.

These died in faith, having not received the promises they believed in, but seeing them from far away, says the passage. Then, in verse 16, the passage states:

Now these seek a better country

A better country than the one they had been living in. A better country. And in case the reader starts imputing political meaning to the statement, the writer of Hebrews clarifies that they seek a "heavenly" country.

Our country, our walk on earth, is going to be filled with disappointments. But we seek a better country.

Our house will fall apart, our kids will rebel, we'll lose jobs and lose trust in some we love, and lose our innocence and our place in society.

But we seek a better country.

Our churches will fail, our friends will forget, our parents will age, our money will disappear.

But we seek a better country.

Our car will break down, our kids will get sick, our spouse will complain, our work will lose meaning.

But we seek a better country.

Come, Lord Jesus.

25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth

We don't usually recycle email forwards on the New Life blog, but we made an exception:

25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth

1. Begin your message with the phrase, "You know what's wrong with you people..."
2. Place bathroom scales by the coffee and donuts.
3. Move business meetings to Sunday morning and open up the floor by asking, "So does anybody have a beef?"
4. Begin that year-long sermon series on the 40 weeks of Daniel.
5. Place a polygraph machine on the front pew to be used during the invitation time.
6. Place tire puncture strips in the parking lot for cars going the wrong way before Sunday school. (We have our own methods at NL)
7. Start a tradition of ushers forming a conga line to the front of the church each Sunday before the offering
8. Place the roller coaster "You must be this tall" sign at the entrance of the worship center. (And make it stand about 5' 8 1/2")
9. Keep the Christmas pageant livestock in the church choir room year 'round.
10. Announce that on high attendance Sunday, if the goal is met, everyone will kiss the pig!
11. If your auditorium slopes downward to the platform, give every kid under 12 a handful of marbles before the service.
12. Give deacons the ability to "gong" the special music.
13. Place the outdoor welcome center tent a few feet from the septic tank.
14. Replace the pictures of former pastors with pictures of Larry, Moe, and Curly.
15. Start arranging marriages in the singles department.
16. Put a blank for "weight" on the membership information forms.
17. Invite the "cops" crew along during hospital visits.
18. Demand mandatory drug tests for all senior adult excursions.
19. In order to feel relevant, say "Dude" 15 times from the pulpit each Sunday.
20. Have the organist play hockey cheers at pivotal moments of the sermon.
21. Place armed guards in front of the Sunday school supply closet.
22. Before the offertory hymn, have the worship leader scream, "Show me the money!"
23. Charge tolls for the use of restrooms.
24. Illustrate all sermons or Sunday school lessons with scenes from "Walker, Texas Ranger."
25. Use the "American Idol" format for staff hirings.
Written by Matt Tullos with minor adaptations. Photo from a church sign generator.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of even easier ways than these that we do unintentionally to decrease church growth. But as long as the ball is rolling, maybe you've got some methods you can add to this great list.