Saturday, September 26, 2009

Broken glass

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Finally, after years of enduring the cracks in a shattered storm window, we bought a replacement. I watched as my husband tried carefully to slide the pane first one way, then another into the frame of the window. I could see how it almost fit, but no matter how he approached the job, the window simply would not go into the frame.
He removed the outer screen, he tried first from the side then from the top. He tried pressing, pulling and angling, but nothing worked.
It seemed to me that all it needed was a swift jab on the left hand side to nudge the metal pane holder past the aluminum frame. Once past this small obstacle, the glass would slide right into place. He must just be doing something wrong.
When he had exhausted all attempts, it was my turn.
"I will show him," I thought, "just how deft I am at gliding this pane past the lip of the frame and right into place."
I thought with satisfaction of his admiring gaze after I had competently done what he could not. The wonderwife, coming to the rescue.
I carefully looked over the situation. But only when I actually tried placing the pane could I see the problem. The glass was simply not going to fit.
Finally I had the pane within a millimeter of going into the frame of the window. Just a little brute force, I thought. Not too much, just enough.
"The glass is bending, watch out," warned my husband, but it was too late. One quick jab and CRACK! the new, thirty dollar pane was just as cracked as the one it had replaced.
What had just a little pride done?
Arrrgh!
I had not shown my husband how it's done. I had not triumphed with superior handyman skills. I had not demonstrated masterful handling of a sticky situation. I had not made him stare with awe at my ease of execution.
No.
A little pride. What can it hurt?
Well, ask Eve.
I've always thought that what MIGHT have motivated Eve into taking the fruit in the garden was the desire to show Adam something new. Before that moment, Adam had the advantage. He had named everything. He was first on the scene. He was Mr. Know-it-all, showing her everything he already knew about. Eve didn't know anything Adam hadn't already known about. She couldn't show him anything. She could only be shown stuff.
Finally, here was Eve's chance to experience something first, and more importantly, to show it to Adam.
Just a little pride, and it took down the whole world.
Pride goeth before a CRACK!
That's why I have to be on guard in my prayer life, so that I'm constantly seeking humility. And why I pray for my church that we won't start putting faith in numbers or programs or image. It's so easy to fall into pride as an individual or as an institution, and even a little can shatter a clear, holy panorama.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Seeking a Country

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In the middle of Hebrews 11 (the faith chapter), after many examples of faithful believers from Genesis, and before all the sawn-in-two, slain-with-the-sword, wandering-in-sheepskins bit, there is a little statement about the early examples of believers with faith.

These died in faith, having not received the promises they believed in, but seeing them from far away, says the passage. Then, in verse 16, the passage states:

Now these seek a better country

A better country than the one they had been living in. A better country. And in case the reader starts imputing political meaning to the statement, the writer of Hebrews clarifies that they seek a "heavenly" country.

Our country, our walk on earth, is going to be filled with disappointments. But we seek a better country.

Our house will fall apart, our kids will rebel, we'll lose jobs and lose trust in some we love, and lose our innocence and our place in society.

But we seek a better country.

Our churches will fail, our friends will forget, our parents will age, our money will disappear.

But we seek a better country.

Our car will break down, our kids will get sick, our spouse will complain, our work will lose meaning.

But we seek a better country.

Come, Lord Jesus.

Monday, September 14, 2009

25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth

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We don't usually recycle email forwards on the New Life blog, but we made an exception:

25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth

1. Begin your message with the phrase, "You know what's wrong with you people..."
2. Place bathroom scales by the coffee and donuts.
3. Move business meetings to Sunday morning and open up the floor by asking, "So does anybody have a beef?"
4. Begin that year-long sermon series on the 40 weeks of Daniel.
5. Place a polygraph machine on the front pew to be used during the invitation time.
6. Place tire puncture strips in the parking lot for cars going the wrong way before Sunday school. (We have our own methods at NL)
7. Start a tradition of ushers forming a conga line to the front of the church each Sunday before the offering
8. Place the roller coaster "You must be this tall" sign at the entrance of the worship center. (And make it stand about 5' 8 1/2")
9. Keep the Christmas pageant livestock in the church choir room year 'round.
10. Announce that on high attendance Sunday, if the goal is met, everyone will kiss the pig!
11. If your auditorium slopes downward to the platform, give every kid under 12 a handful of marbles before the service.
12. Give deacons the ability to "gong" the special music.
13. Place the outdoor welcome center tent a few feet from the septic tank.
14. Replace the pictures of former pastors with pictures of Larry, Moe, and Curly.
15. Start arranging marriages in the singles department.
16. Put a blank for "weight" on the membership information forms.
17. Invite the "cops" crew along during hospital visits.
18. Demand mandatory drug tests for all senior adult excursions.
19. In order to feel relevant, say "Dude" 15 times from the pulpit each Sunday.
20. Have the organist play hockey cheers at pivotal moments of the sermon.
21. Place armed guards in front of the Sunday school supply closet.
22. Before the offertory hymn, have the worship leader scream, "Show me the money!"
23. Charge tolls for the use of restrooms.
24. Illustrate all sermons or Sunday school lessons with scenes from "Walker, Texas Ranger."
25. Use the "American Idol" format for staff hirings.
Written by Matt Tullos with minor adaptations. Photo from a church sign generator.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of even easier ways than these that we do unintentionally to decrease church growth. But as long as the ball is rolling, maybe you've got some methods you can add to this great list.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Nice Try

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Whenever I work hard to manuever the events of life into my preferred place for them, I end up disappointed.

I can have my ducks all in a row, but one of them will dive for fish.

I bought a little pamphlet the other day for a dollar called Home Organization for Dummies. What could it hurt, I thought. But after being an almost full-time home organizer for 30 years, I really should know it all by now. Somehow, though, I'm still as disorganized as ever. What if there were some tip, some hint that every organized person knows that has eluded me all these years? Maybe it's in this booklet.

I still haven't finished the booklet, but one of the points in the beginning was to start small, take some task and finish that one task. My son, reading me the booklet since I was not organized enough to have my reading glasses nearby, asked what task I could do.

Organize the broom closet. That, I can manage. But more important things always come up. My job is to make everyone else's job easier. And everyone else comes before the broom closet. Still, my son would ask me every couple of days if I'd gotten to the broom closet yet. No. I haven't. I had houseguests. I had school starting stuff. I had to write a letter or send a column or finish a needed brochure or get the laundry done because everyone was out of clean underwear.
I still haven't found time to get to that broom closet. And I'm still not exactly organized. I keep intending to get organized, but somehow, more human things keep appearing on the horizon. I can plan and chart and keep lists and keep charts of my lists and buy the latest bins and brooms and baskets and it wouldn't make the smallest difference.
I'm glad, though, that God's got things organized. He doesn't have things organized like they thought He did in the Middle Ages, with nice, neat orbits of planets at evenly spaced intervals. The four humors turned out to be a whole lot of humors and the incredible patterns in DNA were quite a surprise. We keep finding twists and turns in His organizational plan. But we know His plans are perfect, even plans for our own lives.
When I'm tempted to organize God right out of my life, I have to stop and pray for Him to prevent me from that course. I'm likely to organize Him out and still be disorganized. When I look to Him early, things have a way of smoothing out without too much effort.